A wedding is supposed to be one of the best days of a person’s life if they are getting married. Everyone hopes that it will be a happy time, and their guests will simply want to share in the happy occasion. But for anyone who has planned or been involved with the wedding, then you will know that it can be a trying time for some parties. There are the inevitable hiccups such as a wedding venue already being booked or someone who has very strict dietary needs that need to be met. However, there is one part of the planning that truly takes some finesse and that is the guest list.
Deciding who to invite and where to seat them can be a true work of art, as not everyone gets on with everyone else. In this story though, we have a wedding party with a step-dad and a biological father who was not very present in his daughter’s life. When it came time to decide who should be invited, the stepdad who had raised his stepdaughter for the last decade did not want her biological father present for the big event. Obviously, this led to some major turmoil for the daughter who felt pulled in two directions and wanted the men who had played an important part of her life both there for the big event.
A Reddit User
This story first came to light when it was a thread on Reddit, and the stepdad began detailing what exactly the situation was in regards to his stepdaughter’s upcoming nuptials. The thread began in a positive light, with the stepdad announcing the wedding and how he became involved with his stepdaughter and her mother ten years prior.
The bride’s mother was not married to the stepdad but they had been together for 10 years so he felt he had a paternal role at this point.
Raising His Stepdaughter
Over the next 10 years, this stepdad did everything he could for his stepdaughter as if she was his real daughter. Whenever she needed help, be it financial or emotional he was there to support her. When she finished high school and wanted to go to college, he took on her loan so that she could afford to attend and complete her degree.
She also lived with them for all four years of college and after she completed her degree, until she could secure a job in her field. Essentially, he was her father throughout this time. Her real father was barely present, and certainly not contributing to her well-being financially.
The Apple Of His Eye
This stepdad further shared with the Reddit community how he had gifted her with a car while she was still in high school so she did not have to worry about taking public transportation and could focus on her studies. When she finally met the man she wanted to marry, he decided to take on the traditional role of father once again.
He offered to pay for the big day as the Father of the Bride. He wanted to do everything in his power to ensure that his stepdaughter wanted for nothing, all he asked in return was that she show him some loyalty.
The Biological Father
The stepdaughter’s biological father would show his face on occasion, just so she would know that he still existed. It was never at opportune times, and to the stepdad, it seemed like he did it out of pure selfishness, not because he actually cared about his daughter or wanted to dote on her the way a father should.
He would see her, say hello and then disappear again causing heartbreak and sadness each time. But as her real father, there was a bond that could not be broken, as much as it seemed this stepdad wanted it to be.
Enough Is Enough
Just before the wedding, the stepdad said that he would host the get to know the future in-law’s dinner at his house. The absentee biological father was around at this point and was fully intent on being part of the big day even though he had not given his daughter anything over the years, and was not helping with any wedding costs.
He was simply freeloading. The night of the dinner rolled around, and who decided to show up as a future in-law? The biological father of course. This was enough to cause some irritation, but the breaking point was when the daughter announced that her biological father would be accompanying her on the big day for her hand-off to her husband to be.
This was simply too much for the stepdad. He had helped his stepdaughter with everything, and yet here she was honoring the man who had done nothing but abandon her. At that moment her stepdad announced that her real father could foot the bill for the wedding, and he wanted everyone out of his house, including his stepdaughter’s mother.
If he was going to be made to feel like every sacrifice he had made for her was worthless, then he could no longer go on supporting her. He felt everything he had done for her meant nothing.
The Breaking Point
Things had not been going well since the planning for the wedding began. It was for 250 people, and since the stepdad felt like she was his family, at this point he wanted to invite 20 of his own friends and family to attend this special day.
The stepdaughter vetoed this idea saying it was her special day, and she would invite who she wanted with no regard to how this might make her stepdad feel.
To make matters worse, the step-dad got to find out from his friends and family that they were not invited when he ran into them in public places, such as the golf course. Nobody he had asked to be added to the guest list got a wedding invitation, instead, they just received a card stating that a wedding was taking place.
Essentially, it was a card that said: “We’re getting married, but you’re not invited.” This was a real blow to the stepdad’s pride.
It got even worse. The stepdad had not seen one of the notices regarding the ceremony, and the lack of actual invite in-person, so the friend grabbed his and gave it to him to see. Usually, the card will list the parents of each person who is getting married.
His name was not listed, instead, it was his girlfriend’s and the so-called “deadbeat dad who was never around”. Why would this stepdad who was being made to feel like nothing want to fund this event now?
Trouble At Home
Once the stepdad realized he was being used for his cash, he decided to confront his girlfriend before the now infamous dinner. She said that if some of the already invited guests decided not to come then maybe some of his friends could come in their stead.
The step-dad was seething, his girlfriend thought she could appease him by ‘maybe’ inviting his friends after the fact. It was as if everything he had done over the last ten years had meant nothing.